So um, this grass...mannnnnnnnn. Roll up a fatty with us and get comfy as we unpack the mystery surrounding the airheaded cryptid who has everything going for it. There are grass mounds, window peeping, aggressive trash throwing; this cryptid truly has everything and we promise we aren't just blowing smoke.

If you are hiking in the picturesque mountains of Busan, don't fall for the tricks of the mysterious Jangsan Boem. Like the male lead in everyone's favorite k-drama, this cryptid enjoys luring you into a false sense of security before destroying your entire reason for existence. We hope you enjoy the tale of everyone's new favorite forest mystery.

If you are bored and want to listen to a story about a dumb vegetarian, then please enjoy the twisted tale of Sinkhole Sam.

Swooping into the pristine volcanic lake from a late night taco run, the Lake Tianchi Monster truly is the Cheesy Gordita Church of cryptids.

Straight out of a Lovecraftian novel, the Snallygaster promises to terrify and confuse all who are unlucky enough to encounter it. We are so egg-cited to share this convoluted cryptid with you dear listeners.

A, B, C, D, E, F-me!!! There’s a Big Cat looking at me! Come along with us to the foggy moors of the United Kingdom as we investigate sightings of mysterious and elusive alien big cats.

He also took some amazing photos and videos of us because he has special cameras that can detect Unicorns.

Who doesn't enjoy stumbling across a large, unidentifiable, mound of jelly on the beach? Bonus points if you discover it by unknowingly stepping in it! This week we tackle all things globster (interestingly not a glamorous lobster) and examine my favorite blob the St. Augustine Monster.

Gazeka! Bless you! And you might want that blessing if you are faced with with this fearsome cryptid also known as "devil pig". You may not know he is there but you may stumble upon the "gift" he has left for you in the woods... it's poop... much like every dog in the world... the gift is poop...

Also described as cotton candy with horns, the Lake Worth Monster is more mystery than myth (whatever that means). We thought a confusing and convoluted description would perfectly fit this cryptic cryptid.

It’s a bird! It’s a plane! No, it’s a Kongamato! Straight out of the Jurassic period this flying cryptid has soared through the sky’s and straight into our hearts... like literally into our hearts with it’s beak...

Hidden in the hemlock groves of Pennsylvania hides everyone's favorite shy cryptid: the Squonk. If you spot this cryptid tread lightly or he might disappear into a puddle of tears. #IStandWithSquonk

If you find yourself in China's Shennongjia forest, keep an eye out for the Yeren or Chinese "Wild Man." While your at it, keep an eye out for Yeren urine for double points.

We're back!!! On Chapter 33, we travel to Arkansas! The White River Monster is a cryptid swimming around like a water-rhino. Some call him, "Whitey," we call him a friendly creature who enjoys the occasional mint julep.

On Chapter 30, we dive right into the world of another lake monster. Steeped in lore with a fascinating history of sightings this cryptid has ogopogoed right to the top of our list!

On Chapter 29 we travel to the fascinating town of Enfield, Illinois home of the Enfield Monster. If we learned anything from our cyptid this week it’s don’t open your door when you hear a mysterious scratching sound. Even if you have a gun handy, you probably wont like what you find! #tripod #alienpimp

Why the long face? On Chapter 28 we trek to the wilds of the Philippine forest to hunt for the Tikbalang. This creature is said to be part man and part horse (but not the way you are thinking) who tricks everyone that crosses its path. If you would like to hide from a Tikbalang next time your go for a jog through the woods, be sure to turn your shirt inside out. I can only assume this creature hates poor fashion choices.

What do Bigfoot and Hulk Hogan have in common? That’s right, your probably didn’t guess it but its Batsquatch! Batsquatch is a flying cryptid that is described as a mixture between a bat and a Sasquatch. No one is quite sure where he came from but I’m steering clear of volcanic eruptions in the future.

Just when you think you’ve seen everything, in walks a chicken-lizard with breasts. The Elwetritsch is a mythical birdlike creature that is literally the tits. I like to imagine it enjoys long walks through glitter laden forests in Germany, laughing at losers lost in forest with potato sacks. #TheRealChickenBreast

What could be more fun than a cryptid that combines blood sucking and goats? Nothing that’s what! Thank goodness we have the lizard, monkey creature the Chupacabra to fulfill all our earthly dreams.

And if you love the Chupacabra as much as we do, please consider donating to United For Puerto Rico (http://unidosporpuertorico.com/en/) and Friend of Culebra Animals (https://www.gofundme.com/animals-of-culebra) to support relief efforts in Puerto Rico. #PuertoRicoStrong

On Chapter 24 we investigate one of the strangest creatures I have ever heard of. The Whintosser is a fearsome triangular log with more legs than necessary. While no one who has encountered one has lived to tell the tale, we know they are there hiding out there in the burned out forests of California…waiting…

Listeners they are ripped, they are wet and they are blue, so let’s give it up for the Blue Men of the Minch! On Chapter 23, we discuss the finer points of capsizing vessels and getting into epic rap battles with skippers. I’m just saying they can patrol my waters anytime…

This week on Chapter 22, we journey to the state that raised Laura and made her the woman she is today, Florida. Come explore the history and lore of the Skunk Ape, a creature so elusive, Laura had never heard of it… but it knew of her…

On Chapter 21 we travel to the wild and wet Rainforest in search of the elusive Giant Anaconda. This cryptid is arguably the sneakiest of snakes, lurking in the murky waters of the Amazon River waiting to rip your face off. Well, at least that’s what we assume….

For a very special 20th episode we shake things up and Laura leads the research into everyone’s favorite Belgian-French scientist Papa Crypto himself, Bernard Heuvelmans. We talk the origins of the field and some of his most important discoveries. There are also lamas but not the kind you are thinking of…

On this bonus, micro-mini episode we would like to offer you a small glimpse into what it is like to live in Hillery's world. We now present to you, the world premiere of the episode sweeping the nation: Grocery Adventures with Nick. I bet you all wish you could get this excited about ice cream!

“No time for losers 'cause we are the Champy-ions, of cryptid podcasts!” That’s right! On Chapter 19, we get a little wet as we go swimming for Champy, the lake monster of Lake Champlain. He can’t help it he’s shy and prefers the low spots of this popular recreational lake. Give the poor cryptozoological creature a break!

This episode has a little bit of everything: history, throat ripping and a wolf/dog/werewolf. It's basically the cryptid trifecta! We hope you enjoy this quick trip to France on Chapter 18 as we examine the bloody spree of The Beast of Gevaudan. Poorly pronounced French words are on the house...

Translation from image: This Beast is about the size of a young fawn, it attacks women and the children, it drinks their blood, cuts their head and takes it away. It is promised 2700 Livre to kill this animal.

Ice cream, lollypops, popsicles; all appropriate things to lick! The Pope, not so much… Ok the Pope Lick Monster doesn’t actually lick the Pope but don’t pretend it isn’t the first thing you thought of! The Pope Lick Monster is a half-man, half-goat/sheep creature that haunts the railroad trestle lofted over Pope Lick Creek near Louisville, Kentucky. His special skills include luring people to their deaths and possibly being an escaped circus freak from Canada. Ready for more eh?

The Lagarfljót Worm (or Iceland Worm Monster) lives in Lake Lagarfljót, located in sunny Iceland. Don’t worry, this worm has enough humps for all of us and boy does he like to show them off! Especially to tourists and groups of small school children. We don't know what his face looks like but we assume it looks like a worm. We hope you enjoy this squirmy wormy on Chapter 16! #wormhumps #badparenting

Deep in the woods of West Virginia lurks the mysterious Flatwoods Monster. Is it an undiscovered biological creature? A visitor from outer space? Or just a typical barn owl? We prefer to believe the witnesses who saw this elusive creature know what an owl looks like… Hear about out CWT (current working theory) on Chapter 15! #Wegiveahoot #OldOwlFace

This week we head to the Land of Eire to hear about the magnificent Dobhar-chú. No I didn’t just sneeze, it is actually pronounced Do-War Coo. Silly Galic! This creature is half dog, half fish, and half otter and is a real badass. Don’t think about it too hard… #FatherofOtters

On this episode we welcome as our guest, the brilliant and hilarious Teresa Sheffield to tell us something weird. She reveals a "crime" from her past involving a holographic Charizard Pokémon Card (I mean we’ve all been there) and her first hand account of Snipe hunting. Come along with us as we keep it weird!

You can find out more about Teresa on her website: https://www.teresasheffieldcomedy.com/

Or follow her on Twitter: @Terfleaza

If you are interested in coming on the show to tell us something weird, please email TheAmericanUnicorns@gmail.com

Keep it weird people!

Come with us to East Tennessee to learn about the most badass cat lady the Wampus Cat. Hold onto your rifles and poachers beware, she takes no shit, only names. If you happen to smell a foul order during your encounter it’s not the Wampus Cat, you probably just pooped your pants. #LadyCat #WAMPUS!

So lets get real for a second and talk about the mongoose in the room, Gef. Gef is a mystical talking mongoose and boy does he have a lot to say. Personally, I think we could all use a little bit of Gef in our lives and I would be proud to have this cryptid living in the walls of my house. #VANISHED!

So Ohio, lets talk about this whole Loveland Frogman thing… They love riding bicycles, lying in the middle of the road, and waving around their magic wands. I don’t know about you but I find this cryptid absolutely ribbiting. #PokemonGo

If you have any upcoming plans to visit the mountains of Colorado don’t dress like a tourist! The Slide-Rock Bolter is a magnificent land whale and he’ll wait all night for his next lumberjack snack. #ChrisHemsworthTheLumberjack

Are you ready to descend into a vat of molten hot magma? You better be a virgin first or no dice! The Cherufe prefers volleying the fiery heads of virgins and I mean, who doesn’t. #ExtremeVolleyball

On this week's episode we visit the one who got this whole cryptid adventure started for us. Bigfoot is in the house… or at least he is right outside it. He’s a lean, mean, peeping machine and we love him for it!

Come take a peak in our window at Chapter 7. #NuttyFudge

Join us on a mystical journey through the forests of Madagascar in search of the elusive man-eating tree. We don’t know what is waiting for us at the top of the tree but there's no evidence that tells us it isn’t a snow cone. This lemur likes its chances...

Swing on over to Chapter 6, but don’t get eaten and subsequently digested.

The Lizard Man is a reptilian humanoid cryptid found in the bowels of Scape Ore Swamp located in Lee County, South Carolina. According to his twitter he is currently single and ready to mingle. He clearly lifts and has a taste for chrome molding!

Listen to Chapter 5 and see if you are the lady (or lord) for our body building Lizard Man.

The Mongolian Death Worm is known for spitting acid and killing its victims with lethal jolts of electricity. Its red color makes the worm resemble part of a disemboweled camel than a fearsome monster but if you underestimate it, instant death!

Give Chapter 4 a listen and we hope you enjoy hearing all about SHOCK WORM!

This episode of American Unicorns is brought to you by the Leslie Poster Charitable Trust for Grammar and Caffeine. 

The Goatman is an axe-wielding half-animal, half-man creature that began his life as scientist who worked in the Beltsville Agricultural Research Center. Or he emerged from a hellmouth located at Glen Dale Sanatorium 5 minutes from my house.

I hope you enjoy listening to Chapter 3 as the Goatman roams the woods behind my house planning my murder.

The love of goats began early for Laura (1978, Pittsburgh Zoo)

The Encantado roughly translates to “the enchanted one”. These creatures are often known for having extraordinary musical abilities, love getting it on and attending lavish parties. Now that I think of it, Justin Timberlake may be a dolphin man…

If you would like to hear more about Greg and all his fedora wearing charm swim on over to Chapter 2.

The Michigan Dogman is an elusive creature that lives in the wilds of Michigan. It is described as a seven-foot tall, blue-eyed, or amber-eyed creature with head of a dog and the torso of a man. I know, sounds hot right. If you want to hear more about the Michigan Dogman listen to our Podcast – Chapter 1.

But for now please enjoy the song “The Legend” written by our favorite disc jockey Steve Cook.

But for now please enjoy the song “The Legend” written by our favorite disc jockey Steve Cook